The first time I walked down the Tongva Steps, I knew it could also be my last.
I toured UCLA for the first time as an anxious senior in high school on Accepted Students Day. My head spun with doubt, yet my heart throbbed with possibility as I contemplated being a UCLA student. The unexpected acceptance sparked warring thoughts: would I commit to a world of the unknown, or would I stay in the familiar comfort I created? Opinions from both sides started to flood in as I drowned in confusion.
“Why would you leave your family?”
“This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
“Allah is testing you!”
“No, Allah is blessing you.”
Echoes of uncertainty rang in my mind as I navigated the decree of “Al-Hakeem,” the All-Wise. Persistent questioning of teachers, mentors, and UCLA students occupied my every minute leading up to the commitment deadline. Through weeks of worrisome prayers, endless supplications and an unhealthy amount of “pros and cons” lists, I began to look at my acceptance in a different light. I had always seen UCLA as a threat: a danger to my “iman” (faith), myself, and my family. Yet there was an undeniable wisdom behind Allah allowing me to get accepted; a reason He made what I thought was impossible, possible. The “what if?” scenarios I made out of fear became ones I made out of hope. A new sense of clarity washed away my anxiety-stained mind as I approached the Tongva Steps once again.
In the midst of adjusting to the quarter system and living on campus, the unfamiliar environment brought the familiar unease back to the heart. Despite being surrounded by multitudes of people, feelings of loneliness succeeded in finding their way to my dorm, so naturally, I found my way to MSA events.
From sisters’ Quran classes to weekly Halaqas, I saw blessings of friendship and community bloom with every gathering. MSA events worked as a space for connection, a place where all are welcomed and encouraged to meet one another, and by the grace of Allah, I found happiness in my new community. Through every beaming smile, every warm hug, and inviting word, Allah reassured me that I was placed where I was meant to be. Joyful days replaced my anxious ones as I attended Friday prayer, explored campus with new friends, and continued to look at UCLA as a gift from Allah, not a punishment. I’ve now learned to walk down the Tongva Steps with happiness and enthusiasm, eager to traverse through the blessings Allah has granted us students.
In the midst of finishing our midterms and preparing for finals, it’s important to pause; to look away from our worries and jam-packed Google calendars, and turn our attention to the gifts we once begged Allah for. Whether it was your acceptance to UCLA or a good grade on an exam, all of us are living in the supplications we once made. Being at UCLA is a blessing in itself that we sometimes fail to recognize. Our minds are focused on the next thing to do, the next supplication to make, causing us to forget to live in the present moment. As we wrap up the Fall quarter, take a moment to really pause. Slow down, and remind yourself that Allah has placed every one of us here by His mercy and Divine wisdom. Appreciate the position you are in and strive to take advantage of the endless blessings and opportunities the All-Wise has favored you with.