i return to los angeles
to continue my studies;
to go back to the life i am building for myself
in order to heal from hometown trauma,
let alone leave the drama behind.
orange sparkled clouds upon berry eyes,
i stare out and cry for my mother
to hold me once more, once more a minute infinite longer
to caress the cheeks of my mother and squeeze them lovingly once more
only once more
yet now this time, i must wait six months
to be in the arms of my mother once again,
the angels in the city weep along with me
for the protection of their mother to be near their heart, near their touch
i pray my Lord, the Giver of Gifts, the Most Loving,
protects my family, warms my mother’s heart as i am 400 miles off into the land of dreams
the speckle of hope i carry from childhood
will carry me places i once dreamed of,
so i must return to my new home
with the longing of my mother’s love on the edge of my skin,
and i am brought back to the gray couch we cuddled on back in our childhood home,
off and away to build a life, this time again
without my family.